Play station (A tribute to APS martyrs )

(Evening )
Kiddo: Mama ! Can we go to the fun land tonight plzzz?
She: No ,you still have unfinished homework and I’ve still many unfinished chores. Can’t you see?
Kiddo: Mama please
She: I said, ‘no’
Ughh..ughh
(A while later) mama ! Will you buy me a play station this month? , you have promised me that. Talha has ps4 now?
She: ‘Beto may be next month’
Kiddo: What? (Ap hamesha aisa hi kehti hain)?
I don’t talk to you now; you are not a good mom (annoyed)
She: OK fine as you say
(Next morning)
Mamma I don’t want to eat the omlet (mujy anda ni khana), give me some koko crunch
She: ‘oh,Beta its already finished’
Ughh uff mama
‘Hurry up finish what you have, van is about to come already

‘Peep peep…
Allah Hafiz , I wish , I could see my PS on coming back from school, aaahh but I know aisa ni hona
Mom :(while smiling) dream on ..😁Allah Hafiz …  you won’t kiss me today?
(An hour later)
While sipping her tea and tuning to different channels on TV she could neither found anything interesting on morning shows nor her tea was energizing, which she thought had terrible taste because of overheating.

Suddenly she stopped by a news channel, and breaking news were all over.
“Peshawar Army Public school has been attacked by terrorists”
O, Allah ! (She could not realize the hot terrible tasted tea in her lap, torpidity in fact vanquished the burning sensation) and other
“terrorists have made the children hostage”
Shocked and bewildered, she rushed to find a rickshaw and asked the driver to take her to nearby market,….yes market? It took her few minutes to realize where and why she was going.
She fumbled, she’ll bring play station after she would bring his son back home. “take me to APS school bahi”.
Upon reaching, all she could saw were parents crying out their lungs and the scary echo of firings. Hysterically, she was trying to ask about his son. 

Until she could not confirm, while sitting outside in chaos, in the lurch, she was trying to bargain –to God—pleading to save his life, reminding every single good deed of her life as a retort, even ready to mortgage her own life instead.She thought hundreds of times, to bring Play station here to give him a surprise. She was envisaging “on seeing PS he will forget the scarier terrorists”.

She was having flashbacks of memories, for every second of every minute for all those hours when she did not get any news about his son. His cute giggles, his manly laughter, his relentless wishes, his ecstatic smiles, his dimples …. “He didn’t kiss me in the morning “, ” he was annoyed by me”, o’ God. She became amnesic, all she could remember was ;

She had a son;

Who studied in ApS;

He wanted his PS3 badly;

Terrorists have attacked the school;

He would be frightened he would surely be;

And then came the news. The news about her son—

“He has been martyred”

Shot- dead-shot-dead-shot-dead-shot-dead … reverberations became permanent …hallucinating voices started following….
He was no more but the most unfortunate and awful thing was ‘she was alive’.

Now, when the pain becomes irresistible, when there comes an excruciating heart ache, when her lungs suffocates, when her breathe strangles, when she feels herself in proximity to insanity , all she does is to “play” – to play ferociously- now the play station is her sole reason for survival. She has PS 3 now, but not for any gaming experience but for venting, for unleashing the burden she is holding in her heart. Her son has bestowed her the reason to live behind him.

Salute to all the mothers whose kids have been martyred in APS terrorists attack in Peshawar. Every mother is going through the same pain, the same sufferings. Many must be fighting with PTSDs, many would be living in denial. Every day when they send their kids to school they have the same separation anxiety that follows. they just keep their eyes on doors and pray for their safe lives,their safe return. Now cherishing their kids more then before, treasuring them, adoring and assimilating every single moment of them.

“May Allah increase the rank of martyred angels in heaven.!!

“May Allah give peace to the hearts of all mothers who have lost their children in APS attack. !!

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