Brave women: Fact or Fallacy

Yesterday evening, while I was making dinner my son (one month to 4 years) came in kitchen to ask what I was cooking. I replied him “chicken pulao”, with a smile because I knew he will be happy to hear this. Eagerly he came in kitchen and we had a slight conversation which eventually exhorted me to write this piece. Please read

Hussnain : mama take your hands away from fire, it will burn you, let me tell baba to ignite the burner..

Me: baba can also burn his hands beta…

Hussnain: no mama, he is brave, you know when I ll grown up I will become like him

Me: o really ? you don’t want to become like your mama?

Hussain: no, I want to become like baba as he is sooo brave.

Me: ???.. It irked me … I told him assuredly , I am also braavvveee

And he was like hehe ?

and I lost my words…sighs?

And the conversation ended…

I wondered what made him to think like that ? Infact he never did saw any bravery of his baba like a super man or spidar man, never ever did his baba wrestled with anyone and felt proud in front of him as a macho man). We ( his baba and i) never told him or shown him any sort of action from which he could relate bravery to his baba alone.

Then what made him to think like that? Is this any inherent predispositions ? Or is he observing the societal norms already ? Whatever it is .. I wanted to tell him desperately but couldn’t because he was toooo young to comprehend.

But I want to write an open letter to my son of 2030. I can’t tell I’ll be alive or not but I am sure he will get my point then .. Here it is ..

” Dearest sweet pie?

I wish you a good health. You are all grown up and you are still my sweetheart. I want to answer you something which I couldn’t few years back because you were a tiny sugar plum back then. But you must have known by this time that all those movie characters and cartoon heroes were a fiction and fantasy. U also would have recognized that it’s difficult rather impossible for you to become a super or spider man or any other invincible hero. You would have known now that T-Rex and all the Dianasours were also a remarkable fantasy and pete’s Eliot was an animated dragon, the doremon gadgets would definitely look hillarious now. Almost all the powerful and brave heroic figures would be no more in your dreams. So, this is the right time to tell you what is it to be brave in the perspective of your mama….

(Note: do not consider me a pro feminist who is writing out of envy for male imperiousness)

Let me rephrase “brave” with a synonym of “courage” and just rethink what you have known until yet.

The courage has become a stereotypically masculine trait as if it is just a domain of men. This is because it is an offshoot of another societal norm.

Bravery and courage is actually a decision to act even when there is a predictable fear, or a a perceived threat and when the repercussions of your actions are uncertain.

“bravery isn’t just about rescuing and jumping into burning buildings, combating at the borders and any other physical feats of daringness.It can include daily life decisions . For a woman it’s a way of life, including everyday experiences. You will see, it is basically a stereotypically feminine concern.

Let me explain you in simple words. We can call a woman brave; when she left her parents house to move to another place, to dedicate infact donate the rest of life to another family; when she goes to a labor room for irresistible pain; when she unconditionally work hard to raise her kids; when she first see off her kids for their first days to school; when she tries to work in public offices knowing the fact of dominant hierarchy ; when she travels in public transport knowing the predictable harassment she will face; when she stuck while driving in the middle of the road and the subsequent whistles, the taunts, the stares and the everything that haunts her as a gender, still she moves on daringly; when she decides to choose a career for herself, despite foreseeing the tough time waiting ahead; when she tries to deviate from multiple societal norms ; when she ignores her career and decides to stay at home to raise her kids; when she has to switch careers because of harassments; when she almost always ready to take the responsibilities of every sort; and the umpteenth examples I could not write here but you will witness, when framed in this perspective.

My son! Never hestitate in openly admitting that women are a braver segment of society, her tears are just because of a high emotional quotient she holds which is not her weakness at all. She may sounds dumb at times doesn’t mean she is fragile. She is a hardcore, good at doing multiple tasks simultaneously.

This is the brave women probably which your mama knows.

I hope you got now why I couldn’t told you the answer years before.

The only advice for you:

Respect and treasure each and every woman that comes in your life…

With truckload of love

Your mama

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